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John Lewis - Man on the moon

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Andy, did you hear about this one?

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[/vc_raw_html][text_output]I generally tend to feel rather conflicted about the annual emotional blackmail/sucker punch that is the John Lewis Christmas.

You can’t help but admire the fact that it’s become so woven into the fabric of our advent preparations – much like the exciting arrival of the Radio Times in the 80’s which detailed exactly how much TV my sister and I would gorge on over the Christmas week, the office Christmas party or the last minute dash on the 23rd of December (in John Lewis) where I run around bumping into countless other men of similar age, panicking, weeping and purchasing erratically with the countdown clock ticking away in my head.

Kind of like supermarket sweep but with money and the constant spectre of physical assault.

So kudos to it for that.

I admit – I liked the little boy who was waiting to give a present (for that read – I really like that Smiths song), I was kind of Ok with the bear (animals could literally make me buy anything) but the ‘man on the moon’ advert just winds me up.

So here’s a little agit for the never believer (yeah yeah yeah yeah).

It’s easy to look at this for what it isn’t – an attempt to bring attention to the loneliness of the elderly at Christmas. But it’s an advert – pure and simple. It wants you to go to John Lewis and buy shit. Lots of it. And we do.

98% of people reading this will understand that fact and arguably won’t care – a lot will buy things too.

There are companies (some people refer to them as ‘charities’) who work tirelessly all year round without a fraction of the ad spend splurged by John Lewis. Croud work with a number of them, including Friends of the Elderly, for whom if so compelled you could go and donate your time (yes your time) with their amazing ‘Be a Friend’ campaign which brings genuine comfort to those most needing it all year round – not just at Christmas.

www.beafriendtoday.org.uk

Now – apparently there has been a genuine knock-on effect on donations to charity due to this advert (which is genuinely great) – it’s just a shame that it was inspired by a department store who can add ‘first impression’ to their role in the charitable conversion chain – imagine what Friends of the Elderly could achieve with a similar budget.

Ignoring the pedantic (and often really quite nasty) speculation as to the existence of this man in exile which is rife online (not to mention his superhuman ability to withstand such a hostile environment) I would like to focus for a second on the girl.

Who is this genius? Where did she get a handheld telescope of such clarity that it would make Hubble think it had an unknown lovechild?  Presumably not John Lewis.

So my reckoning is she made it.

With such alarming technical alacrity, why did this Ptolemaic imp not build a rocket?

Maybe go pick him up and bring him round for tea?

Sending that poor man a telescope is the equivalent of inviting someone round on the best day of the year and making them stand in the garden while you get bacchanalian in front of Doctor Who – (I’m not doing that again – sorry again Jean if you’re reading this).

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